Reading Reflections on Change

You should expect my blog to be eclectic. I am going to write about the things I notice, the things I’m thinking about in relation to therapy, and some generalized coping strategies. Topics will jump around. Do not use these posts as a road map of what you “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing. If you have one session with me, you will know I’m not about trying to help you think the “right” way anyhow (bc for most things there is no “right” way etc etc). Maybe more on that later. 

So here I go with blog entry #1…..

Last night I finished reading Katabasis by R.F. Kuang. It’s a dark academia fiction, but the author incorporates many real-world philosophers and their ideas throughout the book. One of the ideas that has stuck with me is the Sorites Paradox. If you have a heap (or pile) of sand and remove one grain of sand at a time, when does the heap become not a heap? You won’t notice if one grain of sand is missing from a heap, but remove one grain at a time for long enough, and you will. But at what point do you notice? 

So how do I relate the paradox to therapy….

When we are trying to change something, whether it’s our actions or how we think, every attempt is a grain of sand. Generally speaking, one attempt can seem meaningless in the grand scheme of things. However, when we keep trying and adding more grains of sand, we will eventually notice the difference. With enough repetitions, a significant difference will be noticeable. But how many times do we have to repeat before we notice? That’s the frustrating part of change. We’re adding to a pile, but get frustrated if the pile doesn’t grow quickly enough. We brush all the sand away when we were actually making progress. 

In summary, we want change to be easy and quick, but it usually is not. It takes time and effort.

YouTube video more on the Sorites Paradox

Link to a Barnes & Noble for Katabasis