Why Is Change So Hard and Why Motivation Alone Is Not Enough
- Jessica Schladt
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
As the year winds down, conversations about change begin to surface almost naturally. Whether or not you care about resolutions, people reflect on the past year, consider what has shifted, and think about what they hope the next season might look like. Even if you never formally create a list of goals, someone will inevitably ask what you want to work on or what changes you hope to make.
Many people feel frustrated by the idea of resolutions, and that frustration often leads to a bigger question. Why is change so hard, even when the desire to grow is genuine? It is not that people lack effort or care. It is that many have lived through the cycle of excitement followed by disappointment. They start with energy and intention, but somewhere along the way, the rhythm slips. Over time, this creates the belief that change simply does not stick.
Change is multi-layered, and I am sure I will write multiple posts exploring its different angles. Today I want to focus on one specific reason change often feels hard to sustain. We tend to rely on motivation and overlook the role of discipline, even though discipline is what carries us when motivation no longer feels available.
How Motivation Gets Us Started
Motivation gives us the spark that makes change feel possible. It brings excitement, clarity, and momentum. When you are motivated, the idea of building a new habit feels energizing. You picture your future self. You prepare. You invest in tools or routines that align with your goal.
For a while, this energy works in your favor. You settle into new patterns and genuinely enjoy the way it feels. You are consistent. You are invested. You are proud of yourself.
But motivation is not a stable state. It rises and falls as life shifts around us. A busy week arrives. You miss a day. You tell yourself you will try again tomorrow, but tomorrow becomes the next day, and before long, it feels like the momentum has slipped too far to catch. That loss of motivation can feel discouraging, and many people interpret it as a personal flaw rather than a natural part of any change process.
Why is Change So Hard Without Discipline
This is where discipline becomes essential. Discipline is not about excitement. It is about follow-through. It allows you to continue moving toward your goal even when your emotional temperature changes, even when the novelty wears off, and even when it feels inconvenient or tiring.
If you have ever wondered why change is so hard, this is often the missing piece. Discipline says, “I may not feel like doing this right now, but I still care about the outcome, so I am choosing to show up anyway.” Motivation gets you started. Discipline keeps you going. When people experience the start-and-stop cycle of change, it is rarely because the motivation was insufficient. It is usually because the change did not yet have the support of a strong, steady discipline.
A Sustainable Discipline Comes From Knowing Your Why
The most effective way to strengthen discipline is to feel meaningfully connected to your long-term reason for wanting the change in the first place. When you know your why, discipline becomes less about forcing yourself to follow a rule and more about honoring a purpose that matters to you.
Your reason might be related to health, identity, relationships, confidence, or the desire to grow into a version of yourself that feels more aligned with your values. The content of the goal matters far less than your connection to it. When motivation drops, reconnecting with your why acts as a guide. It reminds you what you are working toward and why the effort is worthwhile.
Motivation will return, often at unexpected moments. The mistake many people make is assuming that a temporary dip means they have failed. In reality, they needed time to reconnect with their purpose and allow discipline to carry them through the quieter phases of the process.
Change Is Not All or Nothing
Another common barrier is the belief that change must be perfect to be real. When you are building a new habit, mistakes are not only allowed, they are expected. Yet when people slip up, they often abandon the goal entirely, believing the misstep erased their progress.
This is where kindness becomes a crucial part of discipline. Without self-compassion, discipline turns into self-criticism. With compassion, discipline becomes a commitment to continue showing up even when you are imperfect. You allow space for mistakes. You recognize that being human is not evidence of failure. You return to your goal because the goal matters to you, not because you performed flawlessly along the way.
When You Feel Yourself Slipping
Pause. Reconnect with your why. Instead of judging the loss of motivation, understand it as something that naturally comes and goes. Then ask yourself what small, realistic step would help you move toward the change you still want. Not the perfect step. The possible one.
Change is hard because it asks us to stretch beyond our current patterns, not because we lack ability or worthiness. With clarity, compassion, and steady discipline, change becomes less about quick bursts of motivation and more about creating something that supports you long term.
If you want support as you build habits that align with your goals and values, therapy can help you clarify your why, strengthen your follow-through, and navigate the moments when motivation disappears. Just Try Counseling offers online therapy in Virginia, Maryland, Rhode Island, and Texas.
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