The Stages of Change: Why Progress Isn’t Linear
- Jan 4
- 5 min read
When people think about personal growth or behavior change, they often think it's jumping straight to action. If nothing is happening on the outside, it is easy to assume nothing meaningful is happening on the inside. But most change begins quietly, long before any visible shift occurs.
The stages of change model helps explain this internal process. It offers language and structure for what many people experience but do not always recognize as real progress. One of the most important truths the stages of change highlight is this: change is not linear. People move forward, pause, revisit old stages, and return to the work with new insight.
Understanding where you are in the stages of change can reduce shame, increase compassion, and help you choose realistic next steps. Below is a deeper look at each stage, how it shows up in everyday life, and why each phase matters.
Precontemplation: “I don’t see a problem, so why change?”
In the precontemplation stage, people often don’t think anything needs to be different. They aren’t intentionally difficult; they genuinely don’t see their behavior as an issue. Sometimes they’re overwhelmed, sometimes they feel stuck, and sometimes they’ve tried to change before and felt defeated. Often, the idea of change feels unnecessary or too uncomfortable to consider.
Someone in precontemplation may:
• defend their choices quickly
• focus on the downsides of changing rather than the benefits
• feel irritated when others express concern
• say things like “Everyone is overreacting” or “This is just who I am”
• return to old habits as soon as outside pressure eases
People rarely enter therapy at this stage by choice. They often come because a partner, doctor, friend, or employer encouraged them to do so. Small attempts at change may happen, but only while external pressure remains strong.
Movement out of this stage often happens when something shifts—a life change, a wake-up moment, or a growing sense that the current behavior no longer fits. Insight begins quietly. A person starts asking new questions, which opens the door to contemplation.
Contemplation: “I know something needs to change... I’m just not sure I can or want to.”
Contemplation is where ambivalence takes the lead. Someone knows the behavior isn’t working, but making a change feels inconvenient, complicated, or scary. They can imagine the benefits of changing, yet they can also imagine every reason it feels hard to do so.
This internal tug-of-war is exhausting and normal. People often spend a long time in this stage because it takes emotional work to sort through fears, doubts, and competing desires.
Someone in contemplation may:
• say “I know this is a problem, but…”
• lightly research solutions without taking action yet
• feel frustrated for not making progress sooner
• feel both hopeful and overwhelmed
• see the problem clearly but feel unsure where to start
Contemplation isn’t “doing nothing.” It’s active mental and emotional work. It’s the beginning of motivation and the slow gathering of courage needed for the next stage.
Preparation: “I’m ready to change, and I’m figuring out how.”
Preparation is the bridge between thinking about change and taking action. This stage involves planning, gathering resources, building support, and setting realistic expectations. People in preparation feel clearer about why the change matters and start organizing their lives around that goal.
Someone in preparation may:
• research therapists, programs, or tools
• start cutting back or testing small changes
• tell trusted people about their intentions
• explore different strategies before committing
• say things like “I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it.”
Preparation is a powerful step. When people skip this phase and jump straight to action, they often feel overwhelmed or unprepared when challenges arise. Good preparation helps action stick.
Action: “I’m doing the thing.”
In the action stage, people begin making visible changes. This is the phase most people associate with genuine effort, but it’s important to remember: action builds on all the work that came before it.
During this time, motivation may feel high because early momentum can be energizing. This action also brings vulnerability. People feel proud of themselves and scared they might slip at the same time.
Someone in action may:
• follow new routines or boundaries
• attend therapy regularly
• practice coping skills
• avoid old patterns
• feel both excited and tense about maintaining progress
Action requires support, encouragement, and realistic expectations. If a slip happens, it doesn’t mean someone is “back at the beginning.” Typically, people shift back into contemplation or preparation to adjust their plan and continue.
Maintenance: “I’m staying consistent and learning what keeps me on track.”
Maintenance is the long-term stage of change. The new behavior is more familiar, but it still requires attention and intentionality. People in this phase become better at noticing triggers, adapting their routines, and trusting themselves to stay aligned with their goals.
Someone in maintenance may:
• adjust routines when life becomes stressful
• recognize early signs of slipping back and respond differently
• talk about how far they’ve come
• strengthen coping strategies for difficult moments
• feel more grounded and confident in their abilities
Maintenance is not perfection. It’s practice, consistency, and self-compassion. Many people stay in this stage for months or years as the new behavior becomes part of their identity.
Termination (Optional Stage): “The change is part of who I am now.”
Termination is a stage not everyone reaches, and that's okay. It describes the point where there is little to no temptation to return to old behaviors. The new behavior feels automatic, like buckling a seatbelt or taking daily medication without thinking.
Most emotional or relational changes don’t reach this stage permanently. Maintenance is more common, and it’s not a lesser version of success. It’s simply a realistic reflection of how humans grow.
Why the Stages of Change Aren’t Linear
While the model is often shown as a cycle, real life is much messier. People do not progress neatly from one stage to the next. They move forward, circle back, pause, skip stages, restart, and grow in ways that don’t always show. A slip during the action stage does not mean returning to precontemplation.
In fact:
• most people return to contemplation or preparation
• they reflect, adjust, and re-engage
• the insight gained becomes part of their long-term growth
Change often looks like spiraling upward rather than walking up a straight staircase. Every loop gives you new information, a new perspective, and new resilience. A slip is data, not defeat. It’s an opportunity to learn what you need and how to support yourself more effectively.
Why Recognizing Your Stage Helps You Make Lasting Change
Understanding where you are in the stages of change helps you meet yourself with honesty and compassion rather than criticism. It enables you to set realistic goals, identify supportive steps, and avoid pressure to “move faster.”
Recognizing your stage of change helps you:
• reduce shame around slow or inconsistent progress
• choose strategies that actually fit your readiness
• understand why motivation rises and falls
• identify what kind of support would be most helpful
• view contemplation and preparation as real progress
You are allowed to move through these stages at your own pace. You are allowed to revisit stages without losing momentum. And you are allowed to see change as a process rather than a moment.
Online Therapy Support Across Multiple States
For many people, working through the stages of change is easier with support. Online therapy provides a flexible and accessible means of exploring these patterns with guidance and care. If you are seeking online therapy in Virginia, Maryland, Rhode Island, or Texas, virtual counseling can help you identify where you are in the stages of change and move forward at a pace that fits your life.
You do not need to rush change. You need support that meets you where you are. Understanding the stages of change makes that possible.
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